Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) Marriage with Aishra (r.a.) at the age of 12 !


The marriage of the Prophet Muhammad(P) to cAishah bint Abû Bakr when she was at quite a young age has been the focus of quite a bit of criticism in the West. Unfortunately, in this Neo-Colonialist Age of  Smart bombs, MTV and the Big Mac, some of those who profess to be Muslims have themselves become critics.  Many Muslims, faced with the juggernaut of allegedly “universal”  Western liberal values that have permeated almost everyone around them, sheepishly avoid discussion of such “embarrassing” Islamic issues.  It is a keenly true observation that even though the European powers have pulled their colonial armies out of Muslim lands and granted them “independence”, an even worse plague continues.  This curse is “Colonialism of the Mind” and it is more dangerous since it is much more subtle

Formal Response:

Are 12 years girls really that innocent ? Please check this out first..

Examples of 12 years old girls…

  1. http://blogs.babble.com/strollerderby/2011/09/08/dad-sues-facebook-after-12-year-old-daughter-posts-scandalous-pics/
  2. http://www.bizofshowbiz.com/2007/09/exploitive_mother_defends_12ye.html
  3. http://www.inmagine.com/pdsi075/pdsi075561-photo
  4. http://www.oddballdaily.com/2011/03/30/12-year-old-girl-gives-birth-during-school-trip/
  5. http://www.beijingshots.com/2012/03/brazils-12-year-old-girl-wants-to-sell-her-1-6m-long-hair-for-3500/
  6. http://www.uticaod.com/news/x836133083/12-year-old-girl-14-year-old-boy-missing-in-Rome
  7. http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/3262309/12+year+old+girls/
  8. http://www.medindia.net/news/emergency-contraception-coils-more-effective-than-morning-after-pill-101173-1.htm

12 year old girl really innocent?12 year old girl really innocent?12 year old girl really innocent?

12 year old girl really innocent?12 year old girl really innocent?12 year old girl really innocent?

pedophelia-issue

year12schoolbirth

12yeardaughter 12+year+old+girls.+Found+on+internet.+dedz+to+NFL_be72b9_3261865

Emergency Pill to 12 year old girls

Source:
http://www.medindia.net/news/emergency-contraception-coils-more-effective-than-morning-after-pill-101173-1.htm

12 year old girl having baby

12 year old girl having baby

http://fooyoh.com/iamchiq_living_lifestyle/4953571

Having established that a 12 year old girl can be a fully grown up lady … let us proceed further..

1. A Marriage considered legal and blessed by the ‘Victim’ herself !

It is rather erroneous to say that Sayyidah Aisha (RA) was a child bride. She was a grown up girl.

Sayyidah Aisha herself narrates;

Holy Prophet (PBUH) married her when she was six years
old and consummated the marriage
when she was nine years old…

(Bukhari, Hadith 4738)

Having known this, let me draw your attention to another saying of Sayyidah Aisha which Al-Tirmidhi has narrated under a Hadith in his collection’s Book of Marriage, Chapter 18. It goes as:

Sayyidah Aisha said: ‘

When a girl is nine years old, she is a woman
(meaning, she has attained puberty)
.’

(Tirmidhi, Hadith 1109)

2. A Marriage permitted by her own Family Members and was a social norm

  • This marriage was perfectly acceptable for the family of Aisha.
  • Neither the father of the Aisha (Abu Bakar) objected nor her mother.
  • None of the family members, relatives, friends, far friends, far relatives, witnesses, tribal leaders or the women of the Quraish ever objected this marriage.
  • This  marriage was considered perfectly legal as no criticism was received from the Quraish and disbelievers or the Jews ever.

3. Justified according to Islamic Law

In Islam there is no fixed age of marriage, whenever a person reaches the age of puberty he or she is fit for marriage. Nikah, the marital contract, may be made earlier but consummation of marriage can take place only after puberty is attained.

4. A perfectly Normal Marriage according to the Puberty, Age and Health

Through certain narrations we come to know of the fact she was going through her puberty. Modern science testifies that puberty causes hair loss and this is exactly what we read in a Hadith:

Narrated Sayyidah Aisha:

“The Prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six (years).
We went to Medina and stayed at the home of Bani-al-Harith bin Khazraj
then I got ill and my hair fell down…”
(Bukhari Hadith 3605)

So this makes it absolutely clear that Sayyidah Aisha’s marriage was consummated at an age, she herself says was that of puberty. The general tone of her statement also conveys that it was normal in those times and in that environment.

Moreover, she was quite healthy and fit. She herself says:

‘My mother intended to make me fat
to send me to the (house of) the Messenger of Allah (PBUH).
But nothing which he desired benefited me
till she gave me cucumber with fresh dates to eat.
Then I became fat as good (as she desired).
(Abu Dawud, Hadith 3903. Albani classified it as Sahih)

5. Early engagement was a Norm

It also needs to be mentioned that even before the Holy Prophet (PBUH), she was engaged with Jubair bin Mut’am whose parents dissolved the engagement when her family embraced Islam. All these details kill the argument that Holy Prophet (PBUH) had intimate marital relations with a child, for in that particular sense she was no more a child and she herself testifies that being a nine year old she was a woman then having attained puberty.

[thai.JPG]

The wisdom behind Islam not fixing an age is evident, different people reach the age of puberty at different times. And the general trend also varies over the time and across the regions with variant climate conditions. For instance, people living in regions of low altitudes attain puberty earlier then those in high altitudes regions. Similarly people in warm climates attain puberty earlier then those in cold climates. Now keeping all this in mind consider that when Holy Prophet (PBUH) married Sayyidah Aisha while she was nine it was some 1400 years back and it happened in Arabia, a region with relatively lower altitude and hot climate as one of its most salient features.

Leaving all the history aside, even now puberty at nine is no wonderful a phenomenon. Experts now suggest that age 7 (even 6 for some races) and not 8 should be considered precocious (i.e. early) for puberty among girls. Below is a reference that a nine year old Thai girl even became a mother.

6. The Life of a common girl 1400 years ago (In Arab Desert)

The accusers fail to visualize the life of girls 1400 years ago and especially in the Arab deserts.
The girls had little lives of their own, as there were no shopping malls, schools, universities, gyms, beauty parlors or TV Fashion shows. The life was very simple and primitive. The only activity for young girls was to sit together and talk while staying inside their homes or their friend’s houses. Even the market places were rare and could’t be used for outing spots. There was a huge desert around the mecca and medina which still is no place for recreational activities or fun. The temperature used to be very hot and not suitable for wandering around. Because of unavailability of local police or any governance, parents used to forbid their young children (specially young girls) from staying outside the visual range. Because of the slave-trade parents had to take extra care of their daughters as they were the easier prey for the men of the enemy tribes to take them away.

In short there was not much to young girl to spend as a teenager. The life was pretty same before and after the marriage. Therefore early marriages were a norm. Parents wanted to marry their daughters to the most powerful and respectful men as soon as possible.

In the U.S. the legal age of marriage was 12 in some states in the 19th Century. It was commonplace; there were no schools back then, so there was no reason to stay single. Plus Arabia in the 7th Century was brutal. It was hard for a single woman to survive at that time.

7. Scientific Explanation of why minimum age can not be fixed

The wisdom behind Islam not fixing an age is evident, different people reach the age of puberty at different times. And the general trend also varies over the time and across the regions with variant climate conditions. For instance, people living in regions of low altitudes attain puberty earlier then those in high altitudes regions. Similarly people in warm climates attain puberty earlier then those in cold climates. Now keeping all this in mind consider that when Holy Prophet (PBUH) married Sayyidah Aisha while she was nine it was some 1400 years back and it happened in Arabia, a region with relatively lower altitude and hot climate as one of its most salient features.

8. The Issue of Consent

Next comes the issue of her consent. Her nikah, the marital contract, was made when she was six but the marriage was consummated when she was nine. Now had she showed her displeasure about this marriage when she was nine, and thus a woman according to her own testimony, then marriage would haven been null and void, but it never turned up like that. She did not show any such notion and similarly never in her later life did she ever give any such impression. She rather always showed her love for the Holy Prophet (PBUH).

9. The playful young life

Another issue concerning this marriage is the fact of Sayyidah Aisha playing with dolls and other toys. The question raised is that playing with toys is an innocent child act, and it proves that she was a child when she was married to the Holy Prophet (PBUH). This much is true but the point missed is that Holy Prophet (PBUH) did have an understanding of this fact and he did not expect or force her to behave like his other wives e.g. like aged Sayyidah Sawda (RA). Infact we find that Holy Prophet (PBUH) gave her ample chances to fulfill her desire of playing with her friends and made her feel comfortable.

Sayyidah Aisha narrates:

‘I used to play with the dolls in the presence of the Prophet,
and my girl friends also used to play with me.
When Allah’s Apostle used to enter (my dwelling place)
they used to hide themselves,
but the Prophet would call them to join and play with me.’ 
(Bukhari, Hadith 5665)

Sayyidah Aisha reported:

By Allah, I remember the Messenger of Allah (PBUH)
standing on the door of my apartment screening me
with his mantle enabling me to see the sport of the Abyssinians
as they played with their daggers
in the mosque of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH).
He (the Holy Prophet) kept standing for my sake till
I was satiated and then I went back;
and thus you can well imagine
how long a girl tender of age
who is fond of sports (could have watched it).
(Muslim, Hadith 1481)

These two narrations show that Holy Prophet (PBUH) did care for the natural urge of his young wife for amusement. And this is also a proof that her marriage at the age of nine did not bar her from the enjoyment craved for at that age.

Holy Prophet (PBUH) consummated the marriage with Sayyidah Aisha when she was nine as she had attained puberty and, as she herself said that at nine a girl is rather a woman, but he did not burden her with tough responsibilities of a wife and provided her ample opportunities to enjoy her age.

This infact shows the wisdom of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) that he did present a role model for all the people to come to care for all the needs of a wife. She married women of all age groups, elder to him like Sayyidah Khadija (RA), of his own age like Sauda (RA), younger but mature of age like Zainab (RA) and much younger like Sayyidah Aisha (RA).

10. Wisdom of Marriage ?

We know that Sayyidah Aisha (RA) was considered the most learned among the all the Companions of the Holy Prophet (PBUH). The following testifies to this.

Abu Musa al-Ashari says:

“Never had we (the companions) any difficulty
for the solution of which we approached Aisha
and did not get some useful information from her“.
(Tirmidhi, Hadith 3883. Albani classified it as Sahih)

She narrated some 2210 Ahadith from the Prophet (PBUH) and this was possible only because she lived with him for nine years and that too at a young age when people have a sharp memory and great sense of observation.

Then she lived for about 46 years after the death of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and continued to teach the people matters of religion especially those related to household affairs and marital life.

No other wife of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) did the similar job that may be compared with her blessed endeavors. This shows the Divine Wisdom for it was not the Prophet himself but Allah that ordained this marriage.

She herself reports;

Allah’s Messenger (PBUH) said to me,
‘You were shown to me twice (in my dream) before I married you.
I saw an angel carrying you in a silken piece of cloth,
and I said to him, ‘Uncover (her),’ and behold, it was you.
(Bukhari, Hadith 6495)

Thus do Allah’s plans work in a marvelous way!

INDEED ALLAH KNOWS THE BEST!

11. Prophet Mohammed (pbuh) Relationship with Aisha r..a.

Do you expect such relationship from a child pedophile ?

Drinking and eating from one place: 

A’isha (RA) reported : I would drink then I would hand it “ the vessel” to the Prophet (PBUH ) and he would put his mouth where mine had been and drink and I would eat the meat from a bone and he would put his mouth where mine had been. Narrated by Muslim.

Laying in the wife’s lap:

A’isha (RA) reported: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) would recline in my lap when I was menstruating. Narrated by Muslim.

Combing his hair: 

A’isha (RA) reported: When the messenger of Allah (PBUH) was in the mosque he put his head in to my place and I combed his hair. Narrated by Muslim.

Outings with his wife at night: –

The prophet (PBUH) used to go walking with Aisha (RA) at night while talking with each other. Narrated by Bukhari.

Assisting her in the housework: 

A’isha (RA) was asked: “What did the Prophet use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family.” Narrated by Bukari

Giving gifts to her friends:-

When the prophet (PBUH) slaughtered a sheep he said “send it to Khadija’s friends.” Narrator by Muslim. (Khadija is the Prophet’s {PBUH} first wife)

Praising her: 

The Prophet (PBUH) said that value of Aisha (RA) among women was the same value of thareed (bread soaked in soup) compared to other foods. Narrated by Muslim

He was pleased when she met her friends

Aisha (RA) said “My friends used to visit me but they were feeling shy from the Prophet, (PBUH), and they started to come less. So the Prophet, (PBUH), used to send for them so that I could meet them. Narrated by Muslim.

Declaring his love :

The Prophet (PBUH) said about Khadija (RA) “I have been given her love.” Narrated by Muslim.

The Prophet (PBUH) said “O, Allah, the things which are in my control (i.e. justice and equality between
different wives) I always do justice (with them), but forgive me for that which is
beyond my control (i.e. my love with Ayesha)”.

‘Amr bin Al-‘Aas (RA) asked the Prophet (PBUH):
“O, Prophet of Allah whom do you love the most”.
“Ayesha”, he replied.
“And whom do you love the most among the men”, ‘Amr bin A’-‘Aas further asked.
“Her father” (Abu Bakr RA), the Prophet (PBUH)said.

Looking at her beautiful manners:

The Prophet (PBUH), “A male believer should not shun a female believer. If he hated one manner from her, he would accept other.” Narrated by Muslim

Sleeping with his wife if he saw a woman by mistake that made him want to fulfill his desire:

The Prophet (PBUH) said: ” If one of you saw a woman he should go to his wife to fulfill his desire. “ Narrated by Muslim

Does not talk about her private matters :

He said (PBUH): The worst of place with Allah on the judgment day is the man who exchanges secrets with his wife and she with him then he spreads her secrets.” Narrated by Muslim

Kissing: – 

The Prophet, (PBUH), used to kiss his wives while he was fasting: Narrated by Muslim

Using perfume all the time 

Aish’a (RA) said: “It is as if I am looking at the glitter of scent in the part of the Prophet’s hair while he was Muhrim “. Narrated by Muslim

Giving her gifts:

Aisha (RA) said: The people were waiting for Aisha’s (RA) day to give their gifts wanting by this to please the Prophet (PBUH).” Narrated by Muslim.

Knowing her feelings: 

The Prophet (PBUH), said to Aisha (RA): I know when you are angry with me or not … if were content with me you say no and by the God of Mohammad. And if you were angry with me you say: no and by the God of Ibrahim.” Narrated by Muslim.

Patience with her anger

Omar Ibn Al Katab said: My wife was mad at me and she reprimanded me and I rejected that from her! She said: Why do you reject it from me? I swear by Allah that the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) reprimanded him and one of them ignored him all the day long until the night.” Narrated by al Bukari.

Not beating her

Aisha (RA) said that “The Prophet didn’t strike a servant or a woman and he did beat anything with his hands.” Narrated by Ibn Majah

Consoling her when she cries

Safiya (RA) was on a journey with the Prophet, (PBUH), and that day was her day and she was late so the Prophet (PBUH) received her while she was crying. She said you make me ride a slow camel so the Prophet wiped her tears and tried to make her stop crying.” Narrated by Al Nisaee.

Source: http://fight4allah.blogspot.com/2008/06/by-looking-at-biography-of-prophet.html

12. The Western Culture and the Dilemma

Today in western societies such as America, there are several laws and freedoms. An example is that people who are 18 years or older are considered adults and if they have sexual relations with a person under the age of 18, they are categorized as “statutory rapists.” But at the same time, it is permissible to have sexual relations with people who are 12 and 13, 14 and 15, etc. Men have multiple girlfriends and women have multiple boyfriends. Extra-marital affairs are very common. These actions are so common that no one sees these actions as immoral. Actions like this are encouraged everyday. But if a marriage to someone that young is done, it is considered controversial, such as the marriage between Prophet Muhammad and Aisha. When assess this one can see which action is moral and which one is immoral.

13.  The Prophet waited until she reached puberty – Debunks the claims that he had any lust for Child-Sex

The entire reason why the Prophet Muhammad pbuh delayed the marriage until after migration to Madinah was to wait for Aisha to attain puberty. If he really was attracted to children he would not have waited three years to consummate the marriage. And we know medically that people mature at different rates, some people attain puberty earlier than others. So to classify a set age as the limit is naturally illogical. How can anyone claim that such-and-such an age is the boundary between child and adult while the age fluctuates per person? Marriage should be done after puberty, and in the hot arid climate in arab lands, women mature and attain puberty much earlier. This is clear from the fact that Aisha was already engaged to someone else before it was decided that she would marry the Prophet saws. The following link contains more information on this point:
http://www.load-islam.com/C/rebuttals/The_Young_Marriage_of_Aishah/#5

14. Medical acceptance of Puberty age post 8 years

Objective. The Lawson Wilkins Pediatric Endocrine Society recently issued new recommendations for the age at which puberty should be considered precocious, lowering the prevailing standards from 8 years to 7 years for white girls and to 6 years for black girls. The new recommendations were based on a single epidemiologic study that focused on the conditions of premature thelarche and premature adrenarche (both characterized by a single sign of puberty). Although the data were available, the authors did not comment on the low incidence of true precocious puberty (characterized by breast and pubic hair development) in their population. The hypothesis for the present study is that the new recommendations lead to underdiagnosis of endocrine pathology……

Read further here

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/111/1/47.full

15. The Charge of Pedophelia

As Shaykh Abu Ameenah Bilal Philips points out in one of his lectures:

We have to look at what is the definition of a paedophile? Is it a grown man who marries young girls? No, he is a person gratifying himself with children, he is not considering marriage. It is just abuse, not marriage. But the reality is that Prophet Muhammad pbuh married Aisha. So it is not an issue of paedophilia. You may call it an issue of child marriage, or what you consider to be a child, but it is not an issue of paedophilia.

You as a non-muslim consider that Aisha was a child. She was nine years old when she came to live with the Prophet. What happened at the age of nine? She had her menses. According to Islamic law she is now considered a young women. And this is the natural dividing line between a child and a women. In the west if you look at the numbers at what age can men and women have consensual sex. In the UK it is 16 for heterosexual and for homosexual it is eighteen. You go to Ireland, it’s seventeen. You go to Germany, it’s sixteen. You go to France, it’s fifteen. Go to Italy, it’s fourteen. Go to Holland, it’s twelve. What in England is considered to be paedophilia in Holland is considered to be consensual sex. So their numbers are not based on any tangible dividing point. These numbers have just evolved or have been modified from cultural practices and norms. These figures were derived from a Newsweek article.

…So on one hand, the argument that she was a child falls because they don’t have an accurate point of deciding who’s a child and who’s not.(Bilal Phillips, Contemporary Issues Audio CD set, Part 5, Track 7-8.)

So to categories Prophet Muhammad pbuh with a label describing sexual predators with a psychosexual disorder is simply ludicrous. Not only does Prophet Muhammad pbuh not fit the description of paedophilia, but the historical fact that Aisha attained puberty before she moved in with the Prophet saws refutes the charge entirely. Look at the definition of paedophilia:

Pedophile: also spelled PAEDOPHILIA, psychosexual disorder in which an adult’s arousal and sexual gratification occur primarily through sexual contact with prepubescent children. The typical paedophile is unable to find satisfaction in an adult sexual relationship and may have low self-esteem, seeing sexual activity with a child as less threatening than that with an adult.” (Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1998.)

The following links should also contain useful information on the subject:
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?cid=1123996016558&pagename=IslamOnline-English-AAbout_Islam/AskAboutIslamE/AskAboutIslamE
http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-Ask_Scholar/FatwaE/FatwaE&cid=1119503544940

16. Brotherhood – Strengthening the Relationships to support ISLAM

In pre-Islamic times, people were accustomed to befriending one another to the extent that they behaved like brothers by blood. Therefore, they would not marry the daughters of the men they befriended and took as brothers. One of the female companions Khawlah bint Hakim organized the engagement between Aisha and Prophet Muhammad. When she went to Abu Bakr he said: “Could Aisha be lawful to him (i.e. Prophet Muhammad) while she was his brother’s daughter?” When Khawlah went back to Prophet Muhammad and told him what had happened, he said: “Tell him, you are my brother in Islam and your daughter is lawful to me.”

Thus, this example of Prophet Muhammad showed the people that Islamic brotherhood is not the same as blood brothers and it did away with the pre-Islamic practice of forbidding men to marry the daughters of their friend.

It should be noted that there are no accounts of anyone within their society disagreeing with the marriage, not even Aisha herself. It is only now in recent times that people are attacking this marriage.

In a tribal society, it was customary to seal treaties through marrying into tribes. Prophet Muhammad’s closest Companions later became the four caliphs who led Islam at the critical stage after his death. Two of them were the fathers of his wives Aisha (daughter of Abu Bakr) and Hafsa (daughter of `Umar); the other two married his daughters (`Uthman married Ruqayyah and Zaynab in succession, and `Ali married Fatimah). (i have to add a couple of sentences and some rephrasing of the paragraph)

Reference(s)